As a business owner, sooner or later, you are going to interact with someone who should not become your customer—no matter how nice they are, no matter how much they’d like to hire you, and no matter how much they are willing to pay you.

Sound crazy? You might be thinking, “Uh, no, I can’t afford to turn anyone away. I need clients really bad! If someone wants to hire me, they’re in.”

I can totally understand your feelings and I used to operate that way, too. But as I have learned, the slow ’n hard way, when you accept clients and customers without any kind of “filtering” or “vetting” process, it usually leaves you with a hot mess on your hands.

Even when you are just starting out, it’s important to be discerning and select clients thoughtfully—for their benefit and for yours. It is the ethical, respectful thing to do.

Here are several (totally valid) reasons why you might need to turn a prospective client away:

1. They want something that you cannot/will not provide.

They want a “drop 40 pounds in one month” crazy diet program and that’s sooo not what you do.

They want you to write every sentence of their forthcoming book but you’re more of an editor, not a ghostwriter.

They want a “foolproof plan” for a 7-figure product launch and you know it’s unrealistic, and also, totally not your style.

You can usually sense, pretty quickly, if a prospective client is seeking something that you cannot/will not provide. Don’t loosen your boundaries/policies/personal integrity (or “fudge” about your skills) to try to accommodate them. It won’t pan out happily for either of you.

2. They are not “ready” for you.

If you work as a publicist (like I used to) and someone wants to hire you to map out a nationwide publicity campaign with major speaking appearances and morning talk show TV spots—but this person has zero experience speaking in front of an audience, and they barely even have a business/website put together—is this person really “ready” to work with you? Prolly not.

You’d be wise to say, “Hey, I’d love to work with you a few months/years down the road. But first, there’s a foundation that needs to be laid in place in order for us to get you the results that you want. Here’s what I’d recommend you do next/first before hiring someone like me…” and then spell out some instructions to help them head in the right direction.

You can do this without being rude or condescending. You’re not being snooty—you’re helping your prospective client to actually get the results that she/he craves by encouraging him or her to invest in something that is appropriate at this stage, even if that “something” is not you.

3. They are not willing to respect your policies, processes, and boundaries.

You can usually tell—within the first couple of email exchanges—if someone is a clear communicator, positive, enthusiastic, and respectful of your business processes, or kinda… not.

If you pick up a desperate, panicked, or pushy vibe right away, chances are, that’s how your entire interaction with this person is going to be.

Do you really want that person on your client roster? Do you really want that type of energy in your life? Do you really want this person’s stressful energy percolating throughout your “program” or “classroom,” affecting your other clients/students, if you work with multiple clients at a time in a group setting? Uh, I hope not.

There are lots of other reasons why you might choose to turn someone away, too.

Like if…

4. They are seeking something that goes above and beyond your experience level, training, or qualifications.
5. They can’t afford you and they’re trying to haggle/barter/guilt trip you in a way that makes you really uncomfortable.
6. There’s a personality clash and you just don’t “click,” for whatever reason.
7. They’re totally awesome, cool, amazing, and passionate, but nevertheless, you can sense that you’re not the right service provider to help them. Your gut tells you “no.”I know how difficult it can be to discern which types of clients are “ideal” and “right” for you. It’s even more difficult to turn people away when they’ve got coins/flowers/chocolates/credit cards in hand and they’re willing to hire you on the spot.

But trust me when I say: if you get that little flicker in your gut that says, “No, this isn’t right…” but you say “SURE!” and let someone hire you anyway, driving against your intuition, it will not pan out well.

If there’s someone in your life who drains your energy or makes you feel resentful, no amount of money is worth it. The emotional “cost” (the drain on your time, energy, enthusiasm for your work, or even your physical health) is greater than the dollars you might earn.

My challenge for you:

Make a list of qualities that you want/need your clients to possess. Think about things like… personality, communication style, previous training/education (if applicable), and experience level (are they a novice or a sensei? Where are they “at” in their journey and how do you fit in?)

Make a list of deal-breakers, too.

Review your lists often and use them to create a “vetting process” for future clients.

Think about how you could express the qualities you’re seeking through your website copy, blog, emails, branding, and all of your other marketing materials so that you can begin to “magnetize” the right types of people more consistently. (This is something we dive into, in way more detail, inside my training program for entrepreneurs: OBSESSED. Enrollment opens in just a few weeks!)

The sooner you create a vetting process for your clientele, the better.

You can create a business where your clients feel like your BFFs and work feels like a total guilty pleasure. But in order to get there? You’ve got to be willing to say “No” to certain people for a wide variety of reasons. This is not “mean.” By saying “No” to someone who isn’t an ideal match for you, your personality, or your business community, you are setting that person “free” so that they can discover a place (or person/service provider) that’s truly right for them.

Honesty + discernment = win-win for everyone.